For 11
weeks, hubby has been travelling for work, Monday to Friday, and then back home
weekends. (So he’s home Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights).
Matthew was
always a co-sleeping baby until a few months ago when we moved him into his own
room. I would sit with him until he falls asleep and he’d wake between 1 am and
3 am, call for me and I’d go sit with him again till he fell asleep. When hubby
started going away, Matthew got into the habit (or should I say I allowed the
habit to form) of sleeping with me in my bed, normally only the Monday night. Then
Tuesday to Thursday same routine as before, in his bed with me sitting with
him. Only difference now, was that instead of calling for me when he woke in
the middle of the night, I would wake up with this little face staring at me
from inches away. I made the mistake of putting him in bed with me then,
instead of getting up and putting him back into his own bed.
When hubby
gets home Friday, Matthew just refuses flat out to sleep in his own bed. He wants
to be close to hubby and sleep with us. Now I understand why he felt like this,
he missed his dad, was scared that he wouldn’t see his dad again for a few days
and that if he woke up his daddy would be gone (we never did this, hubby always
said goodbye to him and never left while Matthew was sleeping). But it was the
whole weekend. We indulged him (mistake I know but I think we felt guilty of
Matthew missing out on time with his daddy) and we would wait until he fell asleep
with us and then move him to his room.
This was the
first week after nearly 3 months that hubby is back to normal, no more
travelling, and things have been a bit rough with Matthew. I don’t know if it’s
just an age thing and it’s something all toddlers go through or if it has
anything to do with hubby being away for so long. Matthew is 2.4 years old and
since Monday night, he refuses to eat. I know this is normal behavior for
toddlers and they won’t starve themselves. He only wants yoghurt, biscuits
(mini cheddars), sweets and peanut butter sandwich.
My mom picks
him up from crèche in the evenings and then feeds him and my niece. Since
Monday, he doesn’t want to eat when he’s there and tells her “Don’t want” and “Don’t
like it”. We then pick him up, go home and when hubby and I eat, Matthew will
normally eat with us, sometimes just out of our plates. When he didn’t want, we
just left it and figured he’ll eat if he’s hungry. Normal. But he went to go
fetch a bowl and asked for food. I dished the food in the bowl and gave it to
him. He looked at it and gave it back saying “Don’t want”. Fine. But he kept
asking for food. I tried everything and eventually just gave up and left him.
He threw the mother of all tantrums and wouldn’t stop. We left him. Fast
forward a little bit. Bath-time is over and it’s time for sleep. Matthew
refuses and I want to tear my hair out. I sit with him in his room. I sit with
him in the lounge. I leave him alone in his bed. He has a night light, hubby
and I are both up and the light is on in the lounge. So it can’t be that. Hubby
eventually went to fetch him and put him in our bed. Oh and bedtime is 8pm and
we struggle with him to go sleep from 8pm to 9pm.
This has
been our nightly routine since Monday. And it can’t go on. I am slowly going insane
and I’m not sleeping properly because Mr sleeps like he owns the whole bed. I
don’t know what to do and I know it’s going to take some drastic action to get
him to change. He is fully potty trained and eventually off the dummy. (Oh and
the night waking started again after the dummy “disappeared”). He’s almost 2
and half and still wakes in the middle of the night. I think in his whole life,
I only had maybe 8 days of sleeping through the night.
Is his
bedtime too early?
Too late?
Should we
try to get more food in him?
Burn off
more energy before bedtime?
Should I try
to incorporate maybe story time in bed before lights out?
Maybe put
all the lights off?
Try some lavender
essential oils?
Or just
leave it for now and go with the flow? It is my own fault we’re in this
situation in the first place…
