Hermanus news, gallstones, and something wonderful!

It's been so long since I posted here. There's much to tell but I am glad I took that hiatus. I think I needed to switch off and restart everything. 

Mark finished in Hermanus after 4 months and had to go to Vreedenburg for 1 week thereafter. He was gone a total of 7 months for this whole year!!! WOW! Still hard to believe. But he's home for now and enjoying some time off from work and spending it with Matthew. Unfortunately, I have to work through, so no leave for me but I am trying to make up for it over weekends.

Remember that gallstone the doctor found last year when he removed my appendix? Well, it's started giving me problems. I have had 4 attacks (pain so bad) so far and ended up in the ER twice already. Here's hoping things improve. I've found my trigger though, red meat. Cutting it out seems to lessen the frequency of the attacks. I am supposed to have an operation to have my gallbladder removed in January (must still make an appointment) but I have to speak to the doctor about that because........

...... In other news..........

In the top pic, the test on top was taken 22 December and the bottom one taken 23 December. The digital was taken on 24 December. I am about 5 weeks 5 days. I wanted to wait a while before even mentioning it to anyone but I am so excited!! What a super special Christmas gift!!!

Haven't had bloods taken yet and not sure if I should even do it. I have almost no symptoms this time around. Just some sore boobs now and again and slight nausea when I don't eat. This makes me so tempted to keep peeing on a stick :) Also, I wanted to put this on my blog as soon as I could so that I can start keeping track of everything and compare to my first pregnancy. :) 

I have forgotten so much and it's only been 3 and half years since I fell pregnant with my first. I can't remember which websites I used, what I went through last time, and so on. Need to find a way to remember :)

Mark and I are so happy that we have another baby on the way and that Matthew will be a big brother soon. The families are all excited and can't wait for this baby's arrival.

So I'll start with a preggy update that I will be doing once a week. 

Preggy update #1

How far along? 5 weeks 5 days (think I'm going to be doing this on a Wednesday from next week - to count from day one of the week)

Total weight gain? None yet. Here's hoping I can keep the weight gain to 7kg's or less like the last pregnancy.

Maternity Clothes? Nope, not yet. But my tummy does feel a lot bigger than last time. 

Stretch Marks?  Only the old ones. But I have started with my tissue oil and moisturizer. 

Sleep: Sleeping good. No problems just yet.

Best moment this week: Telling Mark and the family that Matthew is going to be a big brother. And seeing how happy and excited Mark has become.

Miss Anything? Not yet. But I am so going to miss my smokes. 

Movement: Nope, nothing yet

Food cravings: No cravings yet.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Certain smells and textures. Like bread, I can't eat bread at all.

Gender: Don't know. Must still discuss with hubby if we are going to find out

Labor Signs: Way too early for that

Symptoms: Sore boobs, slight nausea when I don't eat, bit of cramping now and again (just feels like I must get af soon)

Belly Button in or out?  Still in for now

Wedding rings on or off? Still on but not sure for how long :)

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy

Looking forward to: The coming weeks, months. Knowing what to expect like the first scan, first movements, feeling those hiccups

Baby Name? No clue yet

Thoughts: Very happy about where we are at the moment. As a couple and as a family. I think this is something that we needed but when the time was right. I can't wait to see Matthew interact with this baby. I can't wait to have hubby rub my big belly and talk to his unborn child. Having been through this before, it's nice to know what is in store (more or less) and it's not so scary this time around. I feel more confident this time, although saying that, I am scared shitless already of how I am going to manage with a 3 and half year old toddler and a newborn baby. But we will manage and overall, I am just excited and so very happy!

Positive minds

Feeling so much better today. I think I may have just slept properly, I don't know. But I am so glad I'm not feeling weepy or down today. Hopefully that is gone now. 

Matthew was too cute last night. We were laying bed and he asked to speak to his daddy. I called Mark and asked him to call me back. Matthew was a little upset because he couldn't talk to his dad but I assured him that Daddy is going to call right back and he can talk to him then. When Mark called back, Matthew then refused to speak. Turning his back and saying "Go away!", "Daddy rude". Hahahaha, all because we ended that first call. 

Shame he really does miss his dad and I think we all look forward to the weekend when we can spend some quality time together. I'm a bit glad the weather is rotten this weekend, that way we get to spend the whole weekend cuddled up under blankets and together. Here's hoping I can entertain Matthew before the boredom kicks in.

The mind is a really powerful thing. It's amazing how we can psyche ourselves out of anything. But getting into the right frame of mind isn't too hard and I'm glad I was able to quickly get out of my funk and pull some of my positivity back. 

Looking forward to the weekend and spending time with my loves!

Misery

I can't stop crying today.

Partly from missing hubby - he's home tomorrow. Can't wait
The rest is from thinking about the baby we lost. It wasn't even a baby yet. But we were excited. And I had started making plans mentally. 

I can't stop Googling miscarriages and why they happen. And thinking about whether it will happen again. 

I have a beautiful almost 3 year old. He is the light of my life and such a joy. I thank God for him. 

I am falling apart and I can't let that happen. I need to be strong for my son and my husband. I need to be strong to make it through this retrenchment. I need to be strong for me. 

But it's so hard. And I am so tired of fighting it.

I am cramping and this bleeding doesn't seem to want to stop. 

I miss my husband and need a huge hug so badly.

I'm crying again.

Why can't I stop. Maybe it's just the hormones leftover or something....

Dr visit

I had a visit with my gynae today for a check up. I explained everything to her and she says I most likely had what she terms a Biochemical Miscarriage. (I'm assuming this is the same thing as a chemical pregnancy) She says that at least we know everything is working and we don't have to wait to try again. 

She did an internal and I don't need a DNC, my womb is clean and just the lining that needs to pass. I was given some folic acid and told to test later next time :) 

She actually scolded me about not taking any folic acid yet. Saying that she doesn't want me to come back and say that I haven't been taking them. I'm so glad I went (even after being scared to go and look like an idiot). She has set my mind at ease and I now know for certain that everything is still working and we get right back into the game.

The only thing I know for sure right now, is that I am only testing at CD40 or something like that. :)

In other news, I just received a call from the WPBTS (Western Province Blood Transfusion Service) asking me to donate blood tonight. I informed the lady that I had a very early miscarriage and I don't think I feel up to donating this month. She was very sympathetic and concerned. She said she totally understands as she recently underwent a similar experience. After informing me that she will be putting a hold on them calling me for 3 months, she seemed to want to say more but was hesitant. Eventually she said good luck and wishes me everything of the best. She then goes on to say this "Who knows, maybe you will be blessed with 2 babies in the near future". Honestly, I am hoping she is right. But does she mean I'll have 2 babies including Matthew or that I will get pregnant with twins? I'm hoping for the latter (just don't tell Mark LOL).

2 lines and then....... Nothing (TMI)

On Thursday, 12 September, my life changed again. Seeing the 2 lines on the home pregnancy test was amazing. My first thoughts were how to tell hubby. Then how to tell Matthew. And our friends and family. How were we going to set up the baby room? These were my first thoughts. I kept this news to myself till Friday, when hubby came home from working away the week.

Faint line

I did another test Friday morning, wanting to be certain that the first test wasn't just showing an evap line or something. This test was from a different batch :)

Very faint line but still a line

I even went for blood work on Friday. Wanting to go to Mark with proof that there is definitely a little beanie baby.

The level was low (only 17) but still proof that I was pregnant, just very early on in pregnancy. I must be honest with myself here and say that I was a bit disappointed in the levels of my HcG count. I didn't want to get too excited and tell everyone only to not have this one go on. (Boy, do I need to trust my instincts more often.)

I told Mark by giving him a gift bag with a teeny tiny babygrow inside with the 2 tests wrapped in it. He opened the gift, just sat there looking at the babygrow (he didn't even open it up and see the tests).Watching the joy come over his face is something I will cherish forever. He was so happy and so excited! He (luckily) agreed with me to keep the secret with just us for a few days. We wanted to cherish this moment for a little while before involving everyone else. (Last time, he couldn't wait to shout it from the rooftops)
The weekend, we had a visit from Mark's parents. It was really hard not saying anything, not complaining about being nauseas and tired LOL! We were at my parents house yesterday and the same thing. It was hard not saying anything. hahahaha

It all started yesterday morning. I had gone to the loo and when I wiped there was a little red smear on the toilet paper. I didn't want to worry so I tried to play it off as maybe implantation bleeding or maybe breakthrough bleeding. (I still had all my pregnancy symptoms). We went to my parents house, had lunch and were just relaxing, watching tv when I went to the loo again and this time, it looked like AF arrived. *sob* It was bright red and there was (TMI) a little clot on the toilet paper. I was devastated. I didn't want to tell Mark. How do I break his world? How do I tell him the baby he was so looking forward to is no more??? 

I couldn't wait to go home. He just held me and told me that it's ok. But how is it ok? How did my body betray me like this and evict that tiny little bean? As bad as this is, I'm just glad the bleeding started yesterday while Mark was home and not while he is away this week. I would not have been able to handle this on my own. 

I never ever thought that I would have a miscarriage. I always thought that I'd get pregnant with the first try and carry a healthy baby to full term. I am too scared to try again though. I don't know if I'll be able to get through something like this again. Why did this happen? Maybe I just need time to get over this and I'll feel better when it's time to try again. Maybe....

Results

So the results of the HPT were......... I have no idea. I didn't get a chance to even use it. AF arrived before I could. 

I was extremely sad and had a good cry about it. Deep down, I kind of knew it wasn't to be. But hubby was getting excited and even though I told myself not to get caught up in his excitement until we took the test, I still did. 
But it's over now and we can enjoy the practice. Not sure if we're going to continue with the not actively trying or what but hubby is going away again for 2 months starting on Monday. We'll only get to practice weekends, so we'll see.

Now I need to figure out why AF was 8 days late and why my pms was so out of wack. Or do I just leave it and go with the flow??? 

Day 8

Day 8 of no AF and we didn't manage to get an HPT yesterday. Will definitely get one today. 

This is just a quick update on me... 

I feel like every time I go to the loo (which ends up being up to 10 times for the day) I'm expecting to see AF has arrived. And the huge sense of relief whenever I realise that it hasn't happened yet....

I am super teary!!! I can't read anything, look at photos, watch tv, anything, then I want to cry. Even the most mundane things make me teary. Watching Matthew play with his toy cars, for goodness sake, makes me teary. This alone makes me positive that I'll see 2 lines on that test.

Cramping is still going strong. The cramps are on both sides (near where I normally get my ovarian pains), they come and go and aren't that bad that I can't manage. I have started getting pains in my groin as well, similar to the ligament pains I had when I was pregnant with Matthew. 

The nausea has subsided a bit. It's not bad at all (touch wood) and come in waves that last a few minutes throughout the day. 

I've noticed that my boobs aren't that sore anymore. I think this is the reason why I keep expecting AF every time I go to the loo. With Matthew, I had major boob pain for weeks. 

I was telling hubby last night that I NEED to get this test and know for sure, so that I can stop torturing myself with what if's. I mean what if I'm not pregnant? Then why is AF so late? 
Must. Get. Test. Today.

Is it or not?

After a pregnancy scare last month (I was 4 days late) and hubby not wanting another baby yet (asked me something along the lines of "is there something you take to make it go away?", we seem to be in the same boat again. Only this time, hubby seems to have done a complete 360. Here's some of our conversation earlier:

  

I am 7 days late. My symptoms include sore and tingling boobs, slight nausea, running to the loo to pee more often, cramping in my lower abdomen and a sore back. AF was supposed to arrive 6 August, after 31 days from LMP. This puts me at CD 39. We weren’t actively trying and yet also not actively trying to prevent it.

So we will get the HPT tonight and test first thing tomorrow morning. Please hold thumbs for a BFP!

Not eating, not sleeping

For 11 weeks, hubby has been travelling for work, Monday to Friday, and then back home weekends. (So he’s home Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights).

Matthew was always a co-sleeping baby until a few months ago when we moved him into his own room. I would sit with him until he falls asleep and he’d wake between 1 am and 3 am, call for me and I’d go sit with him again till he fell asleep. When hubby started going away, Matthew got into the habit (or should I say I allowed the habit to form) of sleeping with me in my bed, normally only the Monday night. Then Tuesday to Thursday same routine as before, in his bed with me sitting with him. Only difference now, was that instead of calling for me when he woke in the middle of the night, I would wake up with this little face staring at me from inches away. I made the mistake of putting him in bed with me then, instead of getting up and putting him back into his own bed.

When hubby gets home Friday, Matthew just refuses flat out to sleep in his own bed. He wants to be close to hubby and sleep with us. Now I understand why he felt like this, he missed his dad, was scared that he wouldn’t see his dad again for a few days and that if he woke up his daddy would be gone (we never did this, hubby always said goodbye to him and never left while Matthew was sleeping). But it was the whole weekend. We indulged him (mistake I know but I think we felt guilty of Matthew missing out on time with his daddy) and we would wait until he fell asleep with us and then move him to his room.

This was the first week after nearly 3 months that hubby is back to normal, no more travelling, and things have been a bit rough with Matthew. I don’t know if it’s just an age thing and it’s something all toddlers go through or if it has anything to do with hubby being away for so long. Matthew is 2.4 years old and since Monday night, he refuses to eat. I know this is normal behavior for toddlers and they won’t starve themselves. He only wants yoghurt, biscuits (mini cheddars), sweets and peanut butter sandwich.

My mom picks him up from crèche in the evenings and then feeds him and my niece. Since Monday, he doesn’t want to eat when he’s there and tells her “Don’t want” and “Don’t like it”. We then pick him up, go home and when hubby and I eat, Matthew will normally eat with us, sometimes just out of our plates. When he didn’t want, we just left it and figured he’ll eat if he’s hungry. Normal. But he went to go fetch a bowl and asked for food. I dished the food in the bowl and gave it to him. He looked at it and gave it back saying “Don’t want”. Fine. But he kept asking for food. I tried everything and eventually just gave up and left him. He threw the mother of all tantrums and wouldn’t stop. We left him. Fast forward a little bit. Bath-time is over and it’s time for sleep. Matthew refuses and I want to tear my hair out. I sit with him in his room. I sit with him in the lounge. I leave him alone in his bed. He has a night light, hubby and I are both up and the light is on in the lounge. So it can’t be that. Hubby eventually went to fetch him and put him in our bed. Oh and bedtime is 8pm and we struggle with him to go sleep from 8pm to 9pm.

This has been our nightly routine since Monday. And it can’t go on. I am slowly going insane and I’m not sleeping properly because Mr sleeps like he owns the whole bed. I don’t know what to do and I know it’s going to take some drastic action to get him to change. He is fully potty trained and eventually off the dummy. (Oh and the night waking started again after the dummy “disappeared”). He’s almost 2 and half and still wakes in the middle of the night. I think in his whole life, I only had maybe 8 days of sleeping through the night.

Is his bedtime too early?

Too late?

Should we try to get more food in him?

Burn off more energy before bedtime?

Should I try to incorporate maybe story time in bed before lights out?

Maybe put all the lights off?

Try some lavender essential oils?

Or just leave it for now and go with the flow? It is my own fault we’re in this situation in the first place…

New sibling not to be

A few days ago I wrote about AF being late and that I wasn’t sure if Matthew was getting a sibling in the near future. Here’s a quick rundown of what the last few days’ “symptoms” have been and why I was so sure that this oven was baking :)

02 June 2013

AF due

05 June 2013

HPT taken with first morning wee – negative

Last wee before bedtime – slight reddish/pinkish tinge on TP

06 June 2013

Super sore boobs

Nausea on and off (not too bad)

Tired eyes

Cramping on and off

Slight headache

Still no AF

Speaking to DH on Wednesday about this “Maybe Baby”, he was super stressed out. His company was talking again about closing down his department in the near future and thus retrenching him. Finances are tight already without this also happening. So I do understand his worries. But he asked me if there was anything I could take to make that the pregnancy doesn’t happen. (Even though if I was pregnant, it would be too late to take anything, and he was essentially asking me about terminating the pregnancy.) This got me thinking and as much as I love my husband, terminating a pregnancy is something I will not do. EVER!

I thought about if I did do it, and we eventually got around to trying for another in a year or two. What happens if we can’t conceive? I think I will resent DH for making me go through it and then also hating myself for not fighting harder. It is so with great relief (and disappointment) that AF arrived late last night.

I am relieved that I don’t have to go through a fight with DH about keeping the pregnancy.

I am relieved that we don’t have to go through the stress of being unable to finance another baby right now.

I am relieved that DH and I can now look at each other again.

On the other hand, I am rather disappointed because I want another baby so badly it hurts.

I am disappointed because Matthew won’t know the joy of being a big brother just yet.

I am disappointed because my arms long to hold another warm little body, my heart craves to love another little soul and my body is so ready to carry another living being.

But so be it. Our time will come, soon. 

Doctor visit, meds, being late and a nappy cake

We've started with the first bout of illness for Matthew. On Saturday, 1 June, he started with a cough and slight fever, (temperature was between 37.6 and 38.2). I gave him Benylin for the cough and Nurofen for the temp. Sunday, same thing, only now he was complaining that his tummy is sore. And threw up twice that day. Lovely! Best part, I didn't have any stomach meds in the house. Sent him to creche Monday and was told by his teacher that we should take him to the doctor and bring him to creche the Tuesday (please, you're saying I'm a bad mother?"

Went to pediatrician on Tuesday, and only got one med for his chest, doctor said he was wheezing. I was there for his cough and tummy aches. Oh well. He went back to creche on Thursday but I wasn't happy with his progress and lack of meds. Took him for a second opinion on Friday and got loads of meds. He had a viral infection which could have affected him tummy as well. We walked out of there with Demazin for his cough, Scopex (she prescribed Buscopan but pharmacist gave Scopex) for his tummy, ACC 200 and an antibiotic. Mr is still on the mend 5 days later. Still coughing and a runny nose and complained again last night of a sore tummy. I pray this is not the start of another winter season filled with doctor visits and hospital stays.

Sick baby

 On a side note, I'm not sure if Matthew is expecting a sibling in the future or if my body just hates me. I have AF-type cramps, I'm nauseous, I get slight headaches, my boobs are sensitive, and AF is now 3 days late. All those 'symptoms' are exactly the same for both pregnancy and my AF. For the last few months, I have been getting nauseous a few days before AF and when that lady comes, it goes away. I took a HPT this morning and BFN. I stopped the pill 2 months ago because I ran out and then realised that my libido picked up majorly when I was off it and didn't want to go back on. The first day of my LMP was 5 May and I was due again on 2 June. Not sure if maybe it's too early to test? Maybe wait another week and if no AF test again.

Only problem is, DH does not want another baby right now. We have discussed having a second child but financially, we can't right now. We were going to wait another year or so, and this oopsie (if it is an oopsie) is  stressing DH out. I don't want him to think that I planned this because he knows how badly I want another baby. I didn't. I'm not sure if I am hoping for a positive (because I really do want another one) or a negative (because of DH). 

Oh well, here's hoping AF shows her ugly head soon....

PS: Here's a nappy cake I made recently.

This and that

Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it’s been 3 months since I’ve been on here. Bad Mommy! And all my photos are gone!!!! What happened?!?!?! I’ve now tried to get the pics back but I can’t remember which pics were where. Guess I’ll have to make up for it in this post 

So, an update…

First Matthew:

My Mr is now almost 2 years and 4 months old. He is talking up a storm and can string together 3 to 4 word sentences. We can understand him and he can finally make his wishes known now. We have times where he goes back to his baby gibberish but we understand him most of the time.

Deep in thought

Potty training went soooo well! It took him about a week to get the hang of the potty. He made a few oopsies here and there but that was expected. The next week, the crèche says that we need to get rid of the potty now and move him to the big toilet, as that is what they’re using at the crèche and Mr doesn't want to stand and wee. It’s been 2 and a half months now and I am a proud mommy of 1 fully potty trained little boy. He does all his business in the toilet. Tells us before the time, and in all this time, he has wet his bed about 4 times during the night. The only thing that gets to me a little is something the DH taught him. If we’re all outside he won’t go inside to go potty. Mr pulls his pants down and does his business right there where he’s standing. Need to work on this one a bit.

  

Potty time

Other than that, he is doing well. They've moved him to the bigger class at the crèche. He’s picked up so much more now and I can see how good the older children are for him.

  

My happy lil dude

Me:

I've applied for an internal position here at work and it’s been almost 3 weeks and I’m still waiting on an answer from them. Holding thumbs as this is exactly what we need. I’m struggling with the weight loss. I've tried the Paleo Reboot. I had every intention of going through with it but finances honestly do not allow for it. I can hardly afford a loaf of bread, never mind meats for the week and coconut oil and almond flour. Hopefully I can get this job and we can go back to being financially stable.

DH has been working in Hermanus during the week and coming home weekends. It’s the 8^th week this week. This has been extremely hard for more than one reason. Firstly, Matthew misses his dad and asks me every night when I go pick him up “Where Daddy?” This breaks my heart. And weekends, DH can’t go anyway without him. He’s obviously scared that if Daddy goes anywhere without him, he won’t see him again. Being a single parent is hard but at least it’s only during the week.

I am extremely broody at the moment, and on 8 April, after getting AF on the 5^th, I told DH that I was very sad that I had gotten AF because I wanted to be pregnant. He didn't take this very well. I understand that our finances is an issue right now, but it’s not going to be like this forever. But that isn't why he was upset. He then told me that he doesn't feel for me the way he used to anymore. In other words, he fell out of love with me. He said that even though I told him almost every day that I love him, he didn't feel like I showed it. It is very hard hearing someone you love with all your heart tell you that they don’t love you anymore. It’s been 4 weeks since this happened and even though I’m yet to hear an “I love you”, we are still together and working on it. Please say a little prayer for us that we can salvage our marriage.

Other than that, things are good with me and my family. We have some issues but nothing we can’t work on and fix. 

Oh and I finally wrote about something that happened to me when I was younger. It is liberating to finally get it off my chest. But I'm struggling with whether to share it... Need to think about this.

Potty Training

Potty training - such simple words but it can be so intimidating just thinking about teaching a 2 year old how to use the toilet. Something that is so natural to me and most other people needs to be taught to a little toddler. I have been fearing this stage of Matthew's development, thinking that I might not be up to the challenge. Will I be able to stay calm when he makes those oopsies? Will he catch on to the concept quickly? The only thought that's saved my sanity is that surely he won't be on diapers at 10 years old.

Matthew has surprised me though. He has taken to this potty training thing all by himself. We haven't even started the process yet and he's already used the toilet several times. For months now, I would put him on the loo just before his bath. Nothing would happen, except in the beginning some tears and stiff bodied screams to get off. Later he would just sit there, demand to get off, get into the bath and the moment his little toes touched the water, he would wee. Saturday past (9 Feb) he wee'd for the first time in the toilet! YAY! He gave this shy smile. I shouted, and clapped and sang a little tune, "pee pee in the pot-ty". The look on his face at my exuberant display of joy and pride was priceless.

Today, 4 days after that first time, he's used the loo every evening before bathtime. He's even once told me that he wants me to take his diaper off so that he can use the toilet. And last night, standing in the bathroom after I've undressed him, he stands in front of the toilet and starts singing "pee pee....pee pee". *be still my beating heart*

Yes, potty training seems intimidating. But my little (big) boy has grabbed this bull by the horns and is making it his own. 

The creche he's attending starts potty training when the toddlers are 2 years and 3 months old. In their experience, this is the best time to start. Matthew will be starting in late April (after the 21st) or in the beginning of May. I'm proud, excited for this new stage of development but also feeling a bit sad as my baby is now no more a baby....He's turning into a big boy right in front of my eyes. 

I need to remember to cherish the little things, to make the most of our moments together and to kiss and hug  him as much as he'll let me because all too soon, he'll be too big for all of that. I need to remember how his little body feels on my lap when he snuggles by me just before bedtime, how his little lips feel when he showers me with wet kisses, how those small arms feel wrapped around my neck, how his little voice sounds when he looks for me and calls 'Mama?'. I can't believe how a simple thing like potty training would make me feel so sad and proud at the same time.....

First Haircut

As much as I hated to do it, Matthew needed a haircut. His hair was long, was irritating him in his neck and around his ears and it was making him perspire. I just wanted a trim, take off some of the length but keep the curls. So off we went to a nearby salon.

Matthew refused to sit in the chair, so I had to sit with him on my lap. He refused to wear the towel and cape but I distracted him enough that the stylist could put it on. He didn't like that she came near him with the scissors but luckily my sister was having her hair done as well and could help with the distractions. Then Matthew started crying, and crying and he didn't stop!

He sat still through the whole haircut but cried the entire time. I looked to see what the stylist had done so far and I was happy. When she asked me if she must "open" his ears (cut the hair away from his ears) I agreed. Then I tried my utmost to distract Matthew by looking into the mirror, looking for my sister in the salon, looking at the phone, at the people walking in the mall. Nothing stopped his tears. When I looked again, the stylist had taken off so much more than what I had asked! I told her that his hair is too short. She told me that it's not and that I was just used to seeing him with long hair. WTF!!?!? You got scissor-happy and went crazy on my boy's head! All his curls are gone! *cry*

Luckily it's only hair and it will grow back but hubby wasn't impressed with the short haircut. And I don't think Matthew did too badly for his first time. Yes he cried, but he sat still the whole time. I don't think we'll be going back to that stylist, although I like the salon. Maybe we can just ask for someone else next time.

Top row - The before pics
Middle row - Crying throughout the cut
Bottom row - Finished product (see, no more curls)

Birthday post

So we decided not to have a birthday party for Matthew but rather have a small cake and tea party on the day and take him out on the weekend. 

EDIT: 22/01/2013

So the evening was good. Matthew had fun and was spoilt rotten. He received the following as gifts:

Mommy and Daddy - play garage for all his cars and a toy motorbike
Grandpa and Grandma - 2 x shorts and 2 x sweaters
Aunty Nicole - Big dump truck with duplo blocks
Aunt S and Uncle A - 1 x Mega trains book and 1 x Barney ABC book
Aunt M and Uncle M - Big 4-wheeler 

(Must still take a pic of his gifts)

Here's some more pics of the rest of his day...

 

                 

 And another pic of the cake:

 I'm pleased with the day the turned out. Matthew seemed happy and the cake was delicious! Now for our day out on Saturday!

Letter to my 2 year old son

Dear Matthew

Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday that I wished you happy birthday for the first time ever, the moment I saw you, minutes after you were born. 

Words seem to fail me now to express how much not only you've grown, but how I've grown as well. You've taught me to slow down and enjoy, to run and jump and grab the good in life, you've taught me how to kiss and cuddle and love with all your heart, and you've taught me how to laugh with all your might, that it's okay to cry and to shout your frustrations! You've shown me so much in your short 2 years with us and I can only pray that I can show and guide you all that I know and believe. It may seem like a lot of responsibility for such small shoulders but all you've done is be yourself and the rest just happened.

At 2 years old, you are such a little boy. Always running, jumping off the furniture, play fighting with Daddy. You are determined to do things yourself and your way. It can be very frustrating to deal with your temper tantrums and when you ignore me, I want to pull my hair out. But when it's time for you to sleep, you still allow me to hold you and kiss you. You love to sit on my lap when you're tired and just snuggle into the crook of my arm. And when you're in the mood, you can give me the BEST kisses and the tightest hugs. 

The last year, we went from you barely being able to walk to you running around and kicking a ball. We went from hardly understanding anything you say to you being able to tell us what you want, where it hurts and when you've potty'd (still working on you telling us before the time :)). You can tell us your name, how old you are and you can say "I love you". 

Matthew, my life has changed for the better these last 2 years. Your Daddy and I love each other so much more and we love you to infinity times infinity. That's a whole lot of love, my boy. I pray that you never lose your enthusiasm for life, that you will always play with all your might, love with all your heart and never forget your family.

I love you! Now and for always.
Mommy

24 month update

1.) How old today?

Matthew is 3 days shy of 24 months (2 years) :-)

2.) New milestones/ talents/ achievements?

His speech is improving daily. And I just love it! 

3.) Favourite toys & favourite things to do?

He loves playing with a hosepipe

Loves to walk around with some of his cars

He loves his books and will point to all the pictures and wait for you to name the object

He is loving his new tent and tunnel

He loves anything to do with motorbikes

4.) Current words?

His latest words are "come" and "go". I also just love when he says "shhhweets" and when he calls me and I ignore me, he will say "mama" about twice and then in a louder, frustrated voice say "MAMA". lol!

5.) Favourite food and snacks?

Fizzer sweets and KFC chicken pops

6.) How is toddler sleeping at night?

He starts off in his cot and ends up in our bed. He will wake between 12:00 and 02:00 and cry the entire time. But once he's got his juice and is in our bed, we all sleep again until around 07:00. Can't really complain...

7.) Day naps?

He's at creche now and they have a nap from around 11:00 till 13:00 I think. Weekends he can still have 2 naps for the day, one morning and one afternoon.

8.) How many teeth – and how are teething issues going?

16 - just waiting on those molars now

9.) Weight and length?

Last clinic visit he was 89cms at 21 months. I'm not sure of his length now but he weighs just over 12kgs now.

10.) Clothing size and shoe size?

18-24 months, 1-2 years and can still fit into some of 3-6 months clothes. He wears a size 7 shoe

11.) Recent toddler ‘highs’?

I love that he chats so much and he just LOVES talking on the phone. The kisses I'll get when I'm 'hurt'. The fact that he (and us) understands so much more and communication is just so much better!

12.) Recent toddler ‘lows’?

It looks like the 'terrible twos' have hit. Tantrums and crying are the latest craze in our household. Oh and he can ignore us so very well!

13.) What are you looking forward to in the coming months?

Communication just getting better and better, potty training (read: no more diapers!), hopefully prepping for Matt's sibling :-)

14.) How are mommy and daddy doing?

We are doing great! We just need to work on managing our stress and and not taking it out on Matthew. Otherwise, we're both coping well and share all the parenting responsibilities.